I Just Knew
by TheHesitantWriter
Summary: Brian has a bad feeling after a phone conversation with Olivia. He knows she's tired, but is that really all it is? Is Olivia in trouble? Will Brian be able to save her? Read and find out! Takes place after "Her Negotiation" which I know everyone is doing, but please give it a shot! Thanks! Rated M.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: Alright everyone, this is my first longer work so please read and review! It's based off of "Her Negotiation" which I know ****_everyone_**** is doing, but here's my spin! Enjoy!**

He knew something was wrong. He could just sense it. At first he figured it was because she was tired. He hadn't seen her in a week and a half. He had just gotten to work and still had another eight hours before he saw her, he was already counting down the minutes.

She had called him while she was driving home and he was driving in. He answered on the first ring.

_"Hey Liv, you done with work for the day?" he asked._

_"Yeah," she breathed, "I've got the next two days off…Cragen's orders."_

_Brian laughed, "He knows what's best for you, Baby. Believe it or not."_

_"I know," she said. She was only a couple blocks from her apartment. "I can't wait to lay in my bed. God, I'm so tired."_

_"I'm sorry," he said sadly. "You almost home?"_

_"Yeah, I'll be pulling into my parking garage in about a minute," she said._

_"You want me to let you go?" he asked. _

_"No," she answered. "I want you to stay on the line with me until I'm at my apartment. Us talking is the only thing keeping me awake."_

_He was quiet for a minute; he hated how hard she worked all the time. He then chuckled a little, "I'm sitting in the parking lot at work, but I'm a little early. So I can stay on with you."_

_She sighed contently. "Thanks, Babe. I'm actually right outside my door now. You wanna come over tonight after work? I'll be sleeping most likely, but I'd like to wake up with you tomorrow," she smiled._

_"Yeah, Baby," Brian smiled, "I'll come right from work." Olivia had given Brian her key a couple months ago. He was really excited when she gave it to him, although he didn't show it entirely. He loved that she trusted him enough to give him the key to her home, her most sacred place. _

_"Alright," she said, breaking him out of his thoughts. "I'll see you in the morning then," she smiled._

_He could hear her smile over the phone. "I'll see you later, Liv. Love you."_

_"I love you, too, Baby," she said and hung up. _

Brian was so happy when he had hung up, but once he got to work, he felt a little funny. He couldn't shake that something was wrong. He sensed trouble, but he just figured it was because he knew Olivia was so tired. He worried she was working too hard. He couldn't wait to be sleeping next to her again for the first time in a week.

"Hey Loverboy! Why don't you get your head out of your girl's crotch and pay attention, huh?"

"Ah, fuck you, Greg," Brian said, only half joking.

Greg, one of Brian's best friends at work, was pretty much cut from the same cloth Brian was. He was middle aged, unmarried, and riding out the system to get his 20. They were practically two peas in a pod. Where one went, the other wasn't too far behind. If they weren't working the night shift at the Bronx Courthouse they would've been partners in any unit.

"Awe, did I hurt your feelings? You'll get over it," he laughed.

"Whatever man, I haven't seen my lady in over a week, alright? She works too hard and would never admit it," Brian said sadly.

"Wait, you seem really upset about this. I'm sorry, man. I didn't know," Greg said sincerely.

"I just worry about her. I've had this funny feeling in my gut since I got off the phone with her, something's not right," Brian said seriously.

"Try calling her back?" Greg suggested.

"Nah, she's exhausted. I don't want to wake her up, she probably just fell asleep by now," Brian said, running his hand through his hair.

Little did either man know that Olivia was headed to her bed, but not to sleep…

* * *

She smiled as she unlocked her door. Brian would be coming over later and she couldn't wait to have him wrapped around her when she woke up in the morning. Despite her fatigue she almost wanted to stay up and wait for him.

She walked further into her apartment and set down her groceries, keys, and phone. Then she heard it, she wasn't quite sure what it was but it was an unfamiliar sound. "Hello?" she called out. She walked further into her darkened apartment. She was so tired she didn't even think someone would actually be there and before she knew it, a gun was being held to her head at point blank range.

"Welcome home, Detective Benson," he sneered. William Lewis smiled his perfectly straight smile, his eyes grew wide with anticipation of what he was planning to do to her.

"Oh my God," she thought, "How did he get in here? Why is he here? What does he want from me?" She had a million thoughts a minute and then it hit her, "No one will know. Cragen gave me two whole days off. This monster gets me to himself for two whole days."

He ran his gun along her jawline and then buried it into her neck. He grabbed her arm and forced her into the bedroom. He threw her on the bed while he stood at the end of it getting his rope ready. Her sheets still smelled of Brian. She gasped, "Brian," she thought, "I can't let Brian come here. Lewis will kill him as soon as he walks in." She looked around and realized she left her phone on her kitchen counter.

Lewis was still distracted with his rope; he was going to tie her up just like Alice. Olivia took this as an opportunity and kicked him right in the crotch. He doubled over in pain and she shot out into the kitchen. She picked up her phone about ready to text Brian when he walked back into the kitchen, gun aimed. She grabbed the first thing she saw, a frying pan she left out to dry on the dish rack. Lewis laughed, "Sweetheart, you really think _that's_ going to save you?"

Olivia stood her ground, he took a step closer to her, "Do you really think it's a good idea to attack a _Detective_ in her own home?" she snapped back. She held the frying pan up, ready to strike when the time was right.

"You really think you're that great of a Detective?" he asked stepping even closer to her, "I got away. I _always_ get away. If you were that good, you wouldn't be in this situation would you?"

"If you were really that sly you wouldn't get near me so I could do this-" Olivia said as she whacked Lewis in his gun holding hand causing the pistol to hit the floor and skid into her living room. They looked at each other, Olivia was surprised, he didn't even show he was in pain. They both looked at the gun on the floor and dove. Olivia hit the ground first but was just out of reach of the gun. Lewis laughed and stepped right on her hand and grabbed the gun for himself. She cried out in agony and then used her other hand to grab hold of his ankle and yank him down, causing the gun to go flying again.

"I just need to get that gun," she thought. She got up and ran over to where it was, and picked it up. Just as she was about to stand up, Lewis grabbed one of her candle stands and knocked her in the head with it, knocking her out cold.

He sighed, "Sweetheart, don't quit your day job, not that you're even that good at it anyway."

**Please review! **


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: Thank you so much much for all of your kind words and reviews! I love them all! I will warn you, this story won't be going on too much longer (Maybe another 2 or 3 more chapters.), I tend to struggle with longer pieces. So any feedback you can give me to help a girl out would be ****_greatly_**** appreciated!**

Brian had knots in his stomach. He still had seven hours until he got to see Olivia and for some reason that was much too long to wait. He just knew someone was in danger. He worried it was Olivia.

"Hey Brian, snap out of it, man. I'm sure she's fine," Greg said.

"You ever just have a gut feeling that something's not right," Brian said.

"Yeah, but Bri, you just talked to her. Yeah, she was tired but she seemed alright, didn't she?"

"Yeah, yeah, I guess you're right," Brian sighed.

"Listen, if you're that worried, just call her. She always answers when you call. She can't get mad at you if you're calling because you're worried about her," Greg explained.

Brian laughed a little, "You're right, I'll be right back," he said as he walked away. He pulled out his phone and pressed Olivia's number on his speed dial. He listened to it ring, and ring, and ring. The longer he heard the ringing, the more nervous he got. Eventually he heard her answering machine.

At first he panicked, but then calmed himself down. "Maybe it was a tough case," he thought, "She tends to take sleeping pills after a really tough case, that's why she's not answering," he reasoned. He left a message on her answering machine, "Hey Baby, I, uh, was just thinking about you at work. I-I don't know, I got this feeling that something's not right and I wanted to check in on you and make sure you were okay," he said, "Just, um, call me back when you get this, alright? I love you." He hung up the phone and felt his stomach start to do flips. He walked back over to Greg.

"She not answer?" he asked.

"No, must have been a tough case," Brian said, "She probably took a couple Ambien to help her sleep. She does that sometimes after rough cases."

"I'm sure she'll call back," Greg said hopefully.

"Let's hope you're right," Brian said sadly.

* * *

Olivia squinted for a minute and then opened her eyes. Her head throbbed, she was cold, and she couldn't move her arms or legs. As her eyes began to adjust, she realized she was naked and tied to her bed. She then began to remember what happened. Tears started to form in her eyes, "I never texted Brian," she whispered, "If he shows up here, he'll die."

"Who's Brian, Sweetheart?" Lewis asked walking back into her bedroom, "He a boyfriend?" Olivia just looked at him, she didn't want to give away who he was, he was already in danger. "Awe, honey, it's okay. You can tell me," Lewis smiled, "You trust me, right?" Olivia just lied there. She didn't dare give into this prick.

Lewis laughed, "Well, you'll _learn_ to trust me," he sneered.

"Why are you doing this?" Olivia asked hating how her voice cracked a little.

He smiled, "Well Honey, you wanted to nail me, hard, didn't you? Well, now I'm gonna nail you…hard. If you know what I mean," he winked at her. She could already feel the bile rising in her throat. "But now that you're awake," he continued, "we're gonna have a little fun, first." He pulled out his cigarettes and lighter and grinned at her.

Her eyes grew wide, "No, please don't. _Please_ don't," she cried.

"Awe, Baby," he said, "It's only gonna hurt…a lot." He lit the first cigarette and took a drag, laughing all the while. He then ran his fingers along her left breast and smiled. He took the cigarette from his lips and brought it close her to skin. Olivia's heart was beating out of its chest. She looked him in the eye and then back at the cigarette still hovering over her skin.

"This is where the fun begins," he said as he stabbed the cigarette into the skin of her breast. She screamed and he laughed.

"My God," she thought, "Just think of how much worse it'll get. How did Alice get through this? I don't know if I'll last 18 hours." She continued to cry as Lewis proceeded to light and put out his cigarettes all over her skin.

* * *

Brian tried to stay focused at work but his mind was with Olivia. He had another five hours of work to go and he was torturing himself all the while. "She's okay," he thought, "She has to be. She was fine when I talked to her." He could almost see her happily sleeping in her bed with his side empty. He smiled to himself; he couldn't wait to fill his vacant spot in her bed. He could almost feel his face and nose being buried in her silky smooth hair. He could actually already smell the intoxicating scent of her shampoo. For a moment, Brian's body began to relax and his mind stopped racing. "Oh, Olivia Benson," he laughed to himself, "the effect you have on me," he smiled. He finally had her, after all these years, she was finally all his.

So why was he so worried?

Brian's brief shore leave from worry was now over and his sense of trouble was looming over him again. "Maybe I should just stop home and check on her," he thought, "Greg would understand, right? I mean, it wouldn't take long and once I know for sure she's okay, I'll come back and be much more focused," he reasoned to himself.

"Hey Greg…" he started.

"No, dude. You're not heading home," he said dryly.

"How'd you know that was what I was gonna ask you?" Brian asked surprised.

"Because, Bri, we're best friends. I can read you like a book. You go home and check on her now, I'm sure it won't be the last time. Look man, I know you're worried, but you honestly have no grounds to be. She's a big girl. She can handle herself. She's been doing it long before you, and she's been doing a damn good job. You _need_ to stop worrying."

Brian started to feel a little guilty, for a few reasons. One, he was annoying Greg with his worrying, and two, he was doubting Olivia's abilities as a strong independent woman and a cop. "You're right, man. I'm sorry. I just really care about her," Brian said softly.

"I know you do and I'm glad you've found that person," Greg said.

"That person?" Brian asked.

"Yeah, that person. You know, that person you constantly think about because they mean so much you to. That person you worry about because you love them. She's your person," Greg explained.

Brian smiled. She was his person. She _is_ his person. "Yeah, man. You're right, she is my person." He started to relax for a bit. Greg's reasoning made a lot of sense. Brian glanced at the clock; it was just 11:30. "Only four and a half more hours," he thought, "10 bucks she'll probably be up waiting for me," he laughed to himself. Then it hit him, "She's a light sleeper," he remembered, "Even with Ambien she usually wakes up when her phone goes off. I mean, she has to; she's _always_ on call. Besides, she rarely ever sleeps a whole night through. Why hasn't she called back yet? I mean, c'mon, she's probably gotten up to pee at least twice by now."

His mind continued to race. His eyes were darting back and forth and all he could think about was Olivia being hurt by some scumbag. He clenched his fists, his breathing got heavier, he started to sweat and then…

"Dude! Brian! Bri, Bri, snap out of it," Greg said, shaking Brian harshly.

Brian snapped back to reality, his breathing was still heavy, his fists still clenched. He looked at Greg, "I can't, I can't do this. Something is horribly wrong. I have to go. Cover for me?" Brian asked desperately.

"Boy, you got it bad," Greg said, "Just go before I change my mind."

Brian shot him a look of gratitude and jumped up to grab his coat, "I owe you, big time," he said as he ran out the door.

"Yeah, yeah," Greg said to himself, "I don't call you Loverboy for nothin'."

* * *

Brian got to Olivia's building 10 minutes later. He ran up the stairs two at a time to reach her door. He got out the key and he heard it. "Is that…screaming?" he thought. He listened more and heard it again, "No, stop! Please! _Please_!" His heart dropped into his stomach. It took everything he had to not bust in her door and take the guy out himself, but he wasn't entirely sure if it was just one.

"How many are there? What are they doing to her?" he thought. He suddenly felt the urge to vomit and tears stung his eyes. He grabbed his radio from his belt thankful he still had it. "This is Officer Brian Cassidy, badge number 8417. I require back up at building 156 West Street, Manhattan, apartment 4E. I've got a loud disturbance and a woman screaming for help. I require back up, I repeat, I need back up!" he screamed over the radio.

His heart broke as he continued to hear Olivia scream. "Fuck it," he said to himself, "I'm going in."

**You screaming yet? ;) Please review! The next chapter may take a little longer to write so bear with me! I'll try to get it done soon!**


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: Thank you all for waiting patiently for this chapter! I hope you all like it! The feedback I've gotten for this story has been remarkable. Thank you all so much! Enjoy!**

**Oh, and I forgot to mention this in past chapters but I DO NOT own any characters except for Greg. (Typical "Don't Sue Me" line. :P)**

Brian got out his gun. He used to always think it was funny that he was required to carry a gun with him on the job. He worked the graveyard shift in the Bronx Courthouse. He never thought he'd actually need it, but now, he had never been more thankful.

He slowly put the key in the lock to Olivia's apartment. As the door unlocked, he quietly and slowly opened the door. He didn't want to bust right into her apartment, he had no idea where Olivia and the perpetrator were. He peaked around her door and saw the living room was empty. It was messy; it looked like she tried hard to fight off whoever invaded her home. He could hear Olivia's cries much more now and he sensed it was coming from her bedroom. He slid past the door and into the kitchen area. He closed the door quietly behind him leaving it unlocked for when back up arrived.

Gun aimed, he quietly moved further into the apartment to track where the screams were coming from. He made his way to her bedroom and saw the door was partially open. He took a second to compose himself and then peaked in. What he saw made him instantly angry. Olivia was bound to the bed, crying and screaming in pain. The man attacking her, who he would eventually learn to be William Lewis, was on top of her, pummeling in and out of her center while putting out cigarettes on her skin.

"Just stop, please!" she cried.

"Hush up, Honey, I'm almost done," he growled as he drove even further into her causing her to cry out in agony again.

As tears stung his eyes he thought hard about his next move. As much as he wanted to take the guy out right then and there, it was too risky to Olivia. If he missed, he could kill her. He decided the most important thing was to get this monster away from her, even if it's just long enough for back up to come. At this point Brian didn't care if he lived or died, he just wanted to save Olivia, and if that meant he dies, then so be it. If she had to, she could live without him, he could never do the same.

Both Lewis and Olivia were too distracted by what was happening in the bedroom to even notice Brian watching. Brian backed away from the bedroom and into the living room again. He looked around and saw a vase; he took it and smashed it on the ground. He then knocked over a lamp, which also knocked over a couple picture frames.

"What was that?" Lewis asked angrily as he slowed his rhythm inside Olivia. She said nothing. She took solace in the fact that he had finally stopped trying to tear through her. Brian, hearing his comment, quickly and quietly ran across the apartment and into the kitchen. He crouched down behind a counter ready to shoot when the time was right.

"Is that your little boyfriend?" Lewis sneered. Olivia continued to stay quiet. "Well, he'll get a nice front row seat, now won't he?" he said as he pulled out of her and quickly dressed himself.

Olivia started to silently cry. "I wish I had texted him," she thought, "He doesn't need to see me like this." More tears started to come as she thought about how if Lewis kills Brian, he'll die remembering her as a victim, as a worthless woman with cigarette burns all over her skin, not as his beautiful girlfriend. She wanted to scream. She wanted to yell to Brian to leave, to spare himself, that she wasn't worth the danger he was putting himself into. Instead, she laid there and held her tongue, knowing if she said anything Lewis would for sure kill Brian and then come back to kill her. If she could spare him his life by keeping quiet, then she would.

Once Lewis was dressed, he grabbed his gun and made his way out into the apartment. Brian could hear his footsteps. He peaked around the side of the counter and saw Lewis looking at the mess Brian had just made. "I know you're in here, you pussy!" Lewis shouted, "Don't you wanna save your little girly friend?" He started to laugh, "She's great, you know. So soft, so beautiful, well, at least she was until I had her," he sighed, "Best I ever had. I'm getting hard again just thinking about it," he chuckled.

Brian's blood was boiling. He couldn't stand to listen to this asshole talk about Olivia, his beautiful Baby. "Doesn't matter what you did to her, she'll always be beautiful," he thought to himself. Brian continued to listen as Lewis' footsteps got a little closer; he peaked around the side of the counter again, took aim, fired and missed.

"Shit!" Lewis yelled, "You sly dog! Get me ranting on and on about how your girlfriend's a hot piece of ass so you can get your shot. Got me all hot and bothered for a minute. Now I'm not hot anymore, just bothered. Really fucking bothered! Show yourself!" he shouted angrily.

Olivia was listening from inside the bedroom. Tears were streaming down her face, not because of Lewis' words but because she feared for Brian. She knew it was him. Who else would have let themselves into her apartment and have a gun? Unless it was someone from work, but all of them knew she had another two days off and none had a key to her home. None of them would ever suspect to come looking for her. She stayed quiet so she could hear what was happening.

Brian took a second to calm himself. "C'mon, dude," he thought to himself, "You gotta make this shot. You miss again and it's over. He'll find you, kill you, and then what? Olivia goes back to being tortured and raped. Nuh uh. Focus, Bri, focus!" He leaned around the counter again, took aim, and fired. This time he hit Lewis in the leg. He cried out in pain. Brian shot again hitting him in the shoulder. Lewis fell to the ground, dropping his gun. Brian stood up and ran over to him and saw blood everywhere. He kicked Lewis' gun out of reach and ran to the bedroom.

She could hear the footsteps. Her heart was beating out of her chest. She was terrified Lewis was going to walk back in and finish the job. She was terrified Brian was the one who got shot. The louder the footsteps grew, the harder she breathed. She looked towards her bedroom door and saw him.

"Don't look at me!" she cried, "Please! I don't want you to see me like this!"

Brian grabbed her bathrobe and threw it over her. "It's okay, it's okay. It's just me. You're safe now," he said softly as he began to untie her binds.

"What time is it?" Olivia asked.

"About quarter past midnight," he replied.

She looked at him confused, "Why are you not at work? How did you know I needed you?" she asked trembling.

He shrugged, "I don't know. I just knew," he said as he finished untying her last bind. He helped her sit up slowly and assisted in putting the bathrobe on correctly with only a couple whimpers of embarrassment from Olivia. When she was covered, Brian knelt down and on the floor in front of her knees and wrapped his arms around her waist.

He lightly scratched at her back through the robe and looked at her. "You're safe now. I'm right here," he said, "I love you so much, please don't forget that."

She looked at him with tears in her eyes. She cradled his face in her hands, "I love you, too, Bri. I can't believe you're here. I've never been so happy to see you," she cried. He brushed some of her hair out of her face and she sighed. He then returned his hand to her back and leaned his head forward into her chest. She lightly placed her hands on the back of his head and started to gently scratch at his scalp. Brian let out a breath he didn't even know he was holding and relaxed under her touch. He loved when she ran her fingers through his hair.

"Help will be here soon. It's over now," he mumbled into her.

"Or is it?" he said from the bedroom door. William Lewis leaned against the doorframe with his gun aimed, holding his injured shoulder. "You really thought you were gonna save her, didn't you?" he sneered, "You thought you were going to be the hero, huh? I don't think so."

Brian stood up immediately and got in front of Olivia. He tried to remember where he put his gun and realized he stupidly left it on her dresser while untying her binds. He couldn't easily walk across the room to grab it without either him or Olivia being shot.

Olivia sat there stunned. She couldn't believe it. He got shot twice and yet he was still alive. At first she was fearful and then she just got angry. "Fuck you, Lewis," she yelled, "You'll pay for this!"

"But you see, Sweetheart, I don't have to pay…if you're dead," he said as he held his grip around the trigger tighter. "Say your goodbyes now," he cackled. Then there were two loud bangs and Lewis stopped. His eyes grew wide and his mouth fell open. Next thing either Brian or Olivia knew he was on the ground with two bullets in his back.

Brian looked up shocked and confused. Greg stood in the doorway of Olivia's apartment with his gun in hand.

"Hey Loverboy, thought you could use some help," Greg said with a smile.

**Only a couple more chapters left! I'm thinking about doing a sequel... Not sure yet. Hope you enjoyed this chapter! Please review!**


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: Hope you guys are still enjoying this story! There aren't too many chapters left. PLEASE review! **

**Again, I don't own shit. Well, except for Greg. Greg's the shit. ;)**

"How'd you know?" Brian asked as Greg walked further into the apartment.

"When you left the Courthouse, I turned the scanner up," Greg explained. "I was worried about you."

Brian walked up to him and shook his hand, "You saved our lives, Greg. I-I don't know how to thank you," he said.

"No need to, I know you'd do the same for me. How is she?" he asked nodding towards Olivia.

Brian sighed, "She'll be okay. Right now she's-" he paused and just shook his head. Greg gave him a pat on the back and smiled sadly at his friend.

Back up finally arrived and took in the scene before them. CSU was called to collect samples from everywhere in the apartment. Greg gave his statement first, giving Brian a little time to sit with Olivia.

Brian walked back into the bedroom and found her crying. "Hey baby," he said sadly, "come here," he held his arms out for her.

She threw herself into him and held on for dear life. "I was so scared, Brian," she sobbed, "I thought I was never going to see you again. I tried to text you to tell you not to come over. I didn't want you to be put in any danger. When I heard the gunshots I was terrified it was you that got shot," she explained. Her body was shaking and her voice still trembled.

"It's okay," he breathed rubbing her back gently, "it's over now. You don't have to be scared anymore. I'm here, I'm not going to let anything happen to you, promise." He kissed the top of her head and held her tightly. He heard her let out a breath and he began to run his fingers through her hair. She relaxed a tiny bit, but was still holding onto him tightly.

The ambulance arrived to bring Olivia to the hospital. The EMTs wanted to put her on the stretcher but Brian insisted he carry her. He picked her up gently. She wrapped her arms around his neck and buried her face into his shoulder. She breathed him in. The familiar scent she could only describe as "Brian" comforted her.

Brian rode with her to the hospital. He sat in the waiting room while she did a rape kit and was treated for her burns. Next thing he knew, the whole SVU squad walked in.

"How is she?" Cragen asked worried.

"Pretty rough," Brian said honestly.

"How did this happen?" Nick asked, almost accusingly.

"I don't know," Brian answered, "I went to her apartment to check on her and I found the prick there. He, uh, he hurt her pretty bad."

"Check on her?" Amanda asked, "You knew something was wrong?"

Brian sighed, "I had talked to her earlier in the night. Something didn't seem quite right. I had a bad feeling in my gut. So I left work to go check on her. Sure enough, something was very wrong," he explained. Munch put his hand on Brian's shoulder and gave it a squeeze. He knew how hard this was for him. He feared things would get worse for Olivia and Brian before they got better.

The rest of the team all looked at each other surprised. Brian wasn't the type to just leave work. Not to mention his newfound "sixth sense," in that moment they all realized just how much he cared for her. They weren't sure at first, especially during Brian's trial, but now there was no doubt he was crazy in love with her.

"Family of Olivia Benson?" a Doctor asked.

Everyone stopped and looked at the Doctor, praying for good news. "That's us," Brian said.

"I'm Doctor Hale," he said holding his hand out for Brian to shake, "You are?" he asked.

"Brian Cassidy," he answered, "I'm Olivia's boyfriend."

"Ah!" Doctor Hale said, "She's been asking for you. She's suffered numerous cigarette burns and we did do a rape kit on her. It came back…positive. I'm sorry," he said slowly. "She's allowed visitors, but only one at a time, please."

Brian looked back at everyone and they all nodded. He gave them a slight smile and quick nod before he followed the Doctor down to Olivia's room.

"It came back positive," Cragen whispered. He could hardly believe this actually happened. He was the one who told Olivia to take two days off. He couldn't help but feel responsible for her attack.

"Don't do that to yourself," Fin said, "None of us blame you for what happened, and you _know_ Olivia never would, either."

"Thanks Fin, I hate to tell you this, but I really don't feel much better about it," Cragen said sadly.

"Give it time," Fin replied. He turned to everyone else. "I have a feeling Brian's going to be in there for a while. We'll come back tomorrow, give them some space," he said, "Anyone want a drink? Feel like I could use one right now."

They all chuckled a little and began to walk out of the waiting room. As much as they wanted to see Olivia, they knew it was most important that Brian see and talk to her first. The kit came back positive, though Brian already knew it would, there was still a lot to talk about.

Doctor Hale led Brian all the way down to Olivia's room. The men shook hands again and Brian looked at the door to the room. He took a deep breath and walked in. Olivia was sitting up in her bed, gazing out the window. He took a second to look at her, she was beautiful. Despite everything, she still managed to take his breath away. He cleared his throat causing her to look over at him.

Tears started to form in her eyes, "I'm sorry," she said.

Brian looked at her surprised, "Sorry for what, Baby?" he asked.

"For not trying harder. I should have fought back more. I should have saved myself. You put yourself in so much danger," she shook her head, "I'm just not worth that," she said quietly.

Brian just looked at her. He almost couldn't believe what he was hearing. "Olivia…" he started, "You did fight, I saw your living room when I first walked in. You gave him a run for his money," he said as he moved to sit on the edge of her bed. She laughed a little. "Oh, and by the way," he continued, "if I could do it all over again, I wouldn't change a damn thing," he said. "You _are_ worth it. You are _more_ than worth it. You hear me? Don't let some scumbag make you think otherwise."

She sat there and let Brian's words sink in. "He really loves me," she thought. She smiled softly at him and he returned the gesture. He took one of her hands in his and lightly kissed it. The sparkle in her eyes was starting to return.

"You know," he started, "It's supposed to be kind of nice on Sunday." He wanted to change the subject. There would be time to talk about everything later. He just wanted her to relax right now.

"Yeah?" she replied wondering where he was going with their conversation.

"Why don't we go downtown and grab some brunch?" he said, "Maybe even stop at The Whitney," he smiled at her.

Her eyes lit up, "Really?" she asked, "I thought you didn't want to go?"

"I didn't say that," he said, "I said I'd be willing to change it up…next Sunday. Well, this Sunday is technically 'next Sunday,'" he explained.

She rolled her eyes and smiled at him, "I love you, so much."

"I love you, too, Liv," he smiled.

She leaned back in her bed, "I'm so tired," she said trying to stifle a yawn.

"Then go to sleep, Baby," he said. "I'll be right here the whole time."

She smiled sleepily at him, "Come sleep next to me," she said patting the small, free bed space next to her.

He laughed, "There's not enough room for two in there!"

"There is if we spoon," she pouted. Brian looked at her and chuckled. He stood up, took his shoes and jacket off, walked around the other side of the bed, and climbed in.

She turned her head back so she was somewhat facing him. He took it as an invite and leaned in and kissed her lightly on her soft lips. She smiled, "What was that for?"

"Eh, you know, something about a woman in a hospital bed," he said winking at her. She laughed and he smiled brightly at her. He loved her laugh and was glad she was still alive to do it and he was still alive to hear it.

She turned her face back around and closed her eyes. He secured his right arm around her waist and buried his face in her hair. He kissed the back of her head and sighed. He didn't realize how tired he was until now. He forced himself to stay awake long enough to hear her breathing even out. Once he knew she was asleep, he allowed himself to relax a little. After a long night for both of them, he was finally cuddled up with Olivia. The circumstances around it weren't great, but she was safely snoozing in his embrace and his nausea finally subsided. "'Bout time," he thought to himself.

Brian did still worry for Olivia. They were going to have to talk eventually. He _saw_ what happened to her, and that was only part of it. She didn't even mention the rape kit, or the burns, or anything. She seemed to only care about Brian's safety and felt responsible for it being put in jeopardy. Obviously he didn't see it that way. He meant it when he said he would do it all over again for her. Besides his Mom, Olivia was the only thing he had. She meant everything to him.

Right now Brian was glad she was smiling and laughing but he worried how long it would last. He feared she was in a state of shock and over time, as she processed what happened to her, she would become more withdrawn from him. He used to work SVU. He left because working with victims was too difficult for him. Now his former career was sleeping in his arms.

"Get it together, Brian," he thought to himself before falling asleep, "You need to be strong for her. Help her when she needs it, listen to her when she speaks, hold her when she cries. Whatever you do, _don't lose her_."

**Please review!**


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N: So I know some of you liked the cuteness that was Brian and Olivia in the last chapter, but alas, all good things must come to an end. Don't worry, it won't stay like this forever. Give it a chance and please review!**

**Again, I own no one except for my own characters.**

Brian woke up around 9AM. He looked over and saw Olivia still sleeping next to him. He noticed she was curled up tightly in a ball with her fists clenched. His heart ached for her. If he knew anything about Olivia, which he'd like to think he did, he knew she was going to struggle with what happened. She's the type who likes to play things off. She doesn't like to talk about her feelings or her past. She deals with it in her own way and then moves on.

But that's not going to work this time.

This time she _has_ to talk about it. The more she talks, the more she heals. The more she heals, the better she gets. The better she gets, the less likely it is for her to sleep in a tight ball with clenched fists.

He feared for when Olivia withdrew from him. He feared for when the shock was over and reality set in. He knew it was going to happen; it was just a matter of when.

From where Brian was laying he couldn't see the frown on Olivia's face. Her eyes were tightly closed and she was very faintly moaning. So faint Brian couldn't even hear her.

_"But you see, Sweetheart, I don't have to pay…if you're dead," he sneered standing at the end of her bed with his gun aimed at Brian._

_The tables were turned. Brian was the one leaning in Olivia's bedroom doorway bleeding from two gunshot wounds, while Lewis was standing over her perfectly fine. Brian didn't have his gun and Greg was nowhere to be seen. _

_"Please," she cried, "Please let him go. Just take me instead."_

_"Oh Honey, I was already planning on it," he smiled sadistically, "I just want to make him watch first." Lewis then pointed the gun at Olivia. She heard Brian scream and then a loud bang._

Olivia's body jerked at the sound. She opened her eyes and gasped. Her heart was beating rapidly and she could barely catch her breath. Brian was still lying next to her with his arm around her. He knew she had a nightmare but wanted to give her a little time to realize it was just a bad dream and to calm down.

After a few minutes Brian whispered to her, "It was just a nightmare, Baby. You're okay." He kissed the back of her head.

Olivia gasped and jumped out of bed. She looked at Brian with wide eyes, "Why were you in bed with me?" she asked frantically.

"Uh, you asked me to sleep next to you last night…" Brian replied confused.

Olivia just looked at him. She didn't know what to say. She closed her eyes and tried to bring back the memory of last night. She remembered it vividly, only instead of remembering her and Brian's cuddle session, she remembered the rope, the cigarettes, the pain.

She remembered Lewis.

And that's all she could remember.

Her eyes were still closed. Her lips started to quiver. "No. No, no, no," she cried. She was back in her bedroom with him. She was tied down, he was on top of her, burning her over and over and over again. She brought her hands up to the sides of her face. "No, stop. Please!" she cried.

"Liv!" Brian yelled, shaking her. Her eyes shot open and she felt Brian holding her shoulders tightly.

"Let go of me!" she screamed. Brian quickly let go of her and took a couple steps back. Olivia was breathing hard, her eyes were wide, she had tears running down her face. "Please, don't touch me," she said faintly. Brian just stood there shocked. Everything he feared happening just happened in the last thirty seconds.

He put his hands up in a surrendering fashion. "Olivia," he said softly, "you're okay. I'm sorry; I didn't mean to scare you. You asked me to sleep next to you last night-"

"I," she started cutting him off, "I remember now." She did remember. Her face had softened and she wasn't as frantic. Her breathing had slowed a little bit, although it was still faster than normal. "You didn't do anything wrong, Brian. I'm sorry. I-"

"Had a flashback," he finished, "I know, Baby. I worked SVU remember? I understand," he smiled slightly at her.

She looked to the floor. "I-I think I need some time alone," she said. Olivia needed time to process. She hadn't had time to over the last day. She was constantly surrounded by people. The nurses, doctors, and Brian were great distractions; they helped her block it out. But now, it had forced its way back into her mind and refused to leave.

He tried to mask the hurt look on his face but knew he was failing, "Okay," he said, "Call me later when you get to go home? I still wanna pick you up and drive you back to your place."

She forced a smile, "Sure, Honey," she said. She was trying so hard to keep it together. She figured she could at least wait until Brian was out of the room before she broke down.

"I'll see you later, then," he said. He walked a little closer to her wanting to give her a kiss, but then thought better of it. "I love you," he said and walked away.

As soon as he was gone the room felt cold. Olivia climbed back into bed and closed her eyes. She saw Lewis' face and the sadistic smile he wore the whole time he was inside her. She quickly opened her eyes again and they started to well with tears. "His face," she whispered, "I'll never forget his face. Never," she thought. She put her head in her hands and started to sob.

"Bri," she cried, "God, I already miss you."

* * *

He was sitting in her favorite Chinese restaurant waiting for her to arrive. He told her he would have picked her up but she refused. His mother ferociously held onto her independence. She'd be damned if someone was going to pick her up when she could just as easily drive.

A couple more minutes passed and she walked in. She smiled at him; only her smile faded a little when she saw the look on her son's face. "Brian," she said, "what's wrong, Baby Boy?"

Brian stood up and pulled out her chair for her. "I ordered you the sweet and sour chicken. I know it's your favorite," he said.

"That didn't answer my question, Brian," his mother said seriously.

Brian sat back down and looked at his mother, "I-I just needed to talk to someone," he said sadly.

"Well, you can always talk to me," she smiled at him. "Tell me, Honey, what's wrong?"

Brian sighed, he didn't really know where to begin, "Uh, it's…Olivia," he said slowly.

Brian's mother looked at him with wide eyes. "Oh no, is she alright? Did you two fight? Did she leave you? I swear if that girl hurt my boy-"

"Ma," Brian started stopping his mother in the very beginning of her twenty-one questions, "We're okay. I mean, I think we are. It's-it's complicated."

"Must be if you don't know where you stand," she said matter-of-factly.

"Olivia," he didn't know how to put this softly, "got hurt the other night."

She narrowed her eyes at him, "How hurt?" she asked.

"Like," Brian swallowed hard, "like, she got raped," he said holding back tears. He wasn't going to tell her all the gory details; there was no need for her to know.

His mother looked at him shocked, "What? Olivia? _Our_ Olivia? I just don't understand. She's-she's a-"

"A sex detective, I know, Ma. It can happen to anyone," Brian said more harshly than he intended.

"I wasn't going to say that Brian. You really shouldn't interrupt your mother," she said sternly, "I was going to say, 'She's a wonderful person,' I just don't understand why someone would want to do that to her," she sighed, "That sweet girl."

The waitress came over with their lunches. Brian just looked at his mother. He liked when she called Olivia nice names, he knew it meant she liked her. He remembered how nervous Olivia was to meet his mother. But, of course, as he as suspected, the two hit it off just fine.

When the waitress left Brian looked at his mother and said, "She won't let me anywhere near her. I knew it was going to be hard, but last night she asked me to sleep next to her. Then this morning she's freaking out and telling me to leave. Ma, I'm really worried."

"You'll get through it," she said, "I'm sure Olivia was worried about you during the trial."

"This is different," he said, "I used to work SVU and I left because it was too hard to work with the victims. I just couldn't do it. Now, now Olivia is one of those victims and I'm having a hard time helping her. A part of me knew she was going to push me away. I was waiting for that shoe to drop. I just didn't think it would be this hard."

"Brian James Cassidy, you look at me," his mother said sternly, "This is not about you." He opened his mouth to say something but she cut him off. "Do not interrupt me, Brian!" she snapped. "Olivia needs you. However she needs you is up to her to decide, but you _cannot_ just abandon ship," she said pointing her finger at him.

"I wasn't planning on leaving. I'm just afraid to lose her. I made a promise to myself last night that I would be there for her no matter what. I want to help her, I just don't know how," he said pushing the food around on his plate.

"Like I said," she started, "let her decide that. You'll know what to do when the time comes. You love her, Brian. I know you do. I've watched you two over the last few months. You know when she wants to fight and you know when she wants to kiss. You can sense it. So, you'll know when she wants you to be near and you'll know when she needs her space. You'll sense it. She's the one for you, Brian. I know she is," she finished half smiling.

Brian just looked at his mother. He was amazed at how simple her explanation was. Even in her old age, she was still sharp as a tack. He didn't really know how to respond to the last portion of her statement so he figured it'd be best not to. "Thanks, Ma," he said.

She took hold of his hand, knowing he was avoiding her newest revelation, "Anytime, Baby Boy," she smiled, "Now eat before you lunch gets cold."

**Gotta love Mrs. Cassidy. ;) Please review!**


	6. Chapter 6

**Sorry it's taken so long for me to update! I've been so busy lately that this got put on hold. I hope you enjoy this chapter! **

**As always, I don't own anything except my own characters.**

"Alright Ms. Benson, you're free to go! Make sure to stop at the pharmacy for your prescriptions," the nurse said happily, "Have a great day and don't hesitate to call or come back if you have a problem."

"Thank you," Olivia said, forcing a smile. She grabbed her things and left her hospital room. She was sore and achy and just wanted to go home. She pulled her phone out of her pocket and dialed Brian's number. As always, he answered on the first ring.

"Hey Sweetheart," he said softly.

"Hey Bri," she said. "I, uh, just got discharged from the hospital. You still my chariot home?" she asked. She felt awkward; she really hoped he couldn't pick up on it over the phone.

"Of course," he replied, "I'm just getting in the car now. I'll be there in about twenty. You good 'till then?"

"Yeah, I'll be out front," she said, "I'll see you soon."

"Alright, bye Liv," he said and hung up. He was nervous. He really didn't want to upset her again. It killed him to see her like this. He just needed to remember what his mother said. _You'll sense it_. God, did he hope so.

About twenty minutes later he was out front of the hospital. He saw Olivia sitting on a bench waiting. He figured she didn't see him, so he got out of the car and started to walk toward her. "Liv," he called out.

She looked over at him, "Oh hey. Sorry, I didn't see you," she said distractedly.

"That's okay," he smiled, "You ready to go home?"

She looked down to grab her things, "Yeah," she said faintly. He knew she was nervous about going back to her apartment. He didn't blame her. He was feeling apprehensive about it himself.

She stood up with her belongings. "You want me to take something for you?" Brian asked.

"No," she said. She smiled sadly at him, "Thank you for offering, though." She then walked past him towards the car.

He followed somewhat closely behind her. He wanted to hold her hand, but thought better of it. _Let her decide_, he remembered. He figured the only time he could touch her was when she initiated it. Other than that, she was off limits. If she wanted to hold his hand, she'd reach out for it. He opened her door for her and she climbed in. He noticed her wince a little bit at the movement and immediately felt guilty. "Wish I killed the bastard myself," he thought.

The ride to Olivia's was quiet but not uncomfortable. Most of the time she sat with her head leaned back and her eyes closed. Brian figured she was tired. He remembered hospital beds not being very comfortable.

When they arrived in the parking garage of her building, he looked over at her and realized she had fallen asleep. He hoped once the car was parked she'd wake up, but he didn't have such luck. He knew he needed to wake her but he was afraid he'd startle her and she'd get upset again.

"Liv," he called out, "Liv," he tried again a little louder. He sighed knowing what he needed to do. He hesitantly put his hand out and touched her shoulder lightly. "Liv," he said again shaking her a little bit.

She rocked her head back and forth a little and murmured something. Then she opened her eyes and gasped. She looked over at Brian with wide eyes. "Oh no," he thought, "_Please_, no."

He quickly took his hand off of her, "It's okay, Liv. I was just trying to wake you up. We're home," he said softly.

She took a deep breath, "Okay," she said. She closed her eyes for a second and took another breath to calm herself. She opened her eyes again and the let herself out of the car. Brian followed suit and they both walked toward her building entrance.

About five minutes later they were out front of her door. She held her key in her shaking right hand. She took a second to relax and then unlocked her door. She slowly pushed it open and walked in. She held the door open with her hip letting Brian know she wanted him to come in. He walked in and closed and locked the door. He stood diagonally behind Olivia. He wanted to gage her reaction to being home again. When he saw her jaw drop he turned and looked at what she was seeing, his mouth had the same reaction.

The living room was still a mess. The broken lamp and picture frames were picked up off the floor and left on the coffee table for her to dispose of. The groceries she had left on the kitchen counter were still there and rotten. The frying pan she used against Lewis was still on the counter where she threw it when she dove for the gun. Not to mention her furniture moved around for when CSU came to collect samples, not that they needed them, Lewis was dead.

"It-it's like they didn't even bother to clean up after themselves," she whispered. "They could have at least moved the furniture back."

Brian was angry at how they left her home but kept calm for Olivia's sake. "We'll take care of it. Don't worry," he said optimistically. She just stood there stunned. He knew she didn't want to take another step into the apartment and he wasn't going to make her. He stood there and waited. Waited for her to process and to be ready.

She then shocked him. She put her hand out for him to take. He stood there for a second and just looked at it, contemplating his next move. She looked over at him with tears in her eyes. "Please," she said quietly. He laced his fingers with hers and gave her hand a gentle squeeze. Slowly, hand in hand, they walked around the apartment together. They both consciously and wordlessly avoided the bedroom. Neither was ready for the memories that room held. The walk around almost seemed like a check through of the apartment. She wanted to make sure there were no intruders this time and he wanted her to feel safe in her home again.

They made their way back into the living room and Brian noticed Olivia seemed sore. "They give you any pain medication, Baby?" he asked.

"Oh yeah, they did, actually," she said, "I forgot to pick it up from the pharmacy on the way home."

"The one down the street?" he asked.

"Yeah, they called the prescription in to the one closest to me," she explained.

"I'll go pick it up for you now," he said, "Wanna come for the ride?"

She sighed and looked around. "No. I should probably start picking up around here," she said sadly.

He nodded and grabbed his keys. "Okay, then. I'll only be a few minutes. Call me if you need anything," he said as he left.

She looked around and figured the best place to start was in the kitchen. She picked through the groceries, hoping to salvage some of them, but ended up throwing most of them away. She grabbed the frying pan and rinsed it with soap and water. She needed to wash the Lewis off of it before she ever used it again.

She then made her way back into the living room and carefully picked up and threw out the broken lamp. She saved the bulb and shade, figuring she could reuse them if she ever bought a new lamp. She took the pictures out of the broken frames. The frames would need to be thrown away, but some of her favorite pictures were saved. Most of them were photos of her Brian. She smiled as she looked at them. Memories of the Bahamas, their first Valentine's, and Easter with his Mom came flooding back to her. She chuckled to herself remembering Nick's reaction to the knock out red dress she wore to her and Brian's romantic Valentine's dinner.

As she put the photos aside and threw the frames away she realized there wasn't much left for her to do. Brian would be returning soon and could help her move the furniture back into place. She was still too sore to do it herself. She then caught herself staring at her bedroom door. She sighed, "Should probably just do it now and get it over with," she said to herself. She walked around her couch and towards her bedroom. She reached the door and put her hand on it. She took a deep breath and pushed it open. She immediately started to cry when she looked inside.

Her room felt dark and uninviting. She remembered everything as soon as she looked inside the room. She could almost feel Lewis' hands all over her again. As she looked around her room she realized her perfume bottles on her dresser were all moved around, her headboard had grooves in it from the rope and her pulling on it for hours, and finally, her bed was missing.

She sighed, "They took Alice's bed, too," she remembered, tears steadily streaming down her face. She couldn't believe or understand it. She wrapped her arms around her torso as a way to console herself wishing they were Brian's arms instead. Then she heard her front door open.

"Hey Babe. The place looks good! I picked up your prescriptions. They gave you pain relievers, antibiotics, and some cream to help prevent scarring," Brian said placing her medications on the counter. He then heard her. "Babe? Olivia?"

He followed where the sound was coming from. He walked into the back of the apartment and found her in the bedroom. He stood in the doorway. He wanted so badly to rush in and hold her, but he knew he couldn't touch her. It killed him. He leaned against the doorframe and watched her for a moment. He then remembered Lewis leaning against the frame the same way not too long ago and decided to stand up straight again.

"Olivia," he said quietly. She looked over at him, her face covered in tears.

She pointed to her bed. "They took the mattress!" she screamed. "The fucking mattress! They left my apartment a mess and then they take the bed! Um, what? The fucking bastard is dead! They don't even need the samples! He's dead. He's dead. He's-" she covered her face with her hands and sobbed.

He knew it wasn't about the bed. She could get another one. She could sleep on the couch until she did get another one. She could even sleep at his place if she wanted. She was upset because here she was trying to take back her home, the place she's supposed to feel the safest and she doesn't even have a bed to sleep on. How can you take back you're home if you can't even sleep there?

He took a couple steps closer to her, but still remained a good distance away. "Liv, it'll be okay," he tried.

She began to wipe her tears away. She sniffled a little bit and looked at Brian. He was trying so hard. She felt so lucky and happy to have him. She then remembered what happened that morning and a fresh wave of tears came.

She held out her arms, "Can you come here?" she cried. She was trying so hard to console herself and it just wasn't working. All she wanted at this point was to be held.

He looked at her sadly. "Awe, Baby," he said as he slowly walked over to her and pulled her close to him. He hugged her tightly. He kissed the side of her head and rested his nose in her hair. He breathed her in. He wanted to savor this moment with her fearing he wouldn't be allowed to touch her again anytime soon.

She wrapped her arms around his neck and rested her forehead on his shoulder and cried. He gently rubbed circles in her back as her body shook against his. "It's okay, Liv. Let it out," he whispered, giving her an extra squeeze. "I love you," he continued, "so much. Don't ever forget that."

She took a deep breath and tried to compose herself. "I'm sorry for what happened this morning," she mumbled into him, "I didn't mean to hurt your feelings. I-I was just scared." Her voice started to tremble again and his heart ached.

He softly ran his fingers through her hair. He knew she liked it. He could feel her start to calm down almost instantly. "You don't have to apologize. I knew you were scared. My feelings weren't hurt, I was just worried about you," he said gently.

She picked her head up and looked at him. He slowly wiped the tears from her face. He was happy she didn't flinch away from his touch. "I don't want to stay here," she said, "I have no food and no bed. What's the point?"

He chuckled, "Okay. My place it is, then," he said gently scratching her lower back.

She leaned into him again, her ear pressed against his chest. She let her eyes drift closed as he held her and continued to play with her hair. She took a few deep breaths through her nose and relaxed into him.

He rested his head against hers and closed his eyes. He breathed deeply. He could see her start to return to him. She was gone for a while, lost and scared. Now she's beginning to find her way again. Her memory of Lewis and her attack are the tunnel. He's the light at the end, and he's got to keep shining until she safely makes her way out of the dark and back to him.

She broke him from his thoughts when she picked her head up and looked at him.

"I love you, too," she said with a soft smile.

**Please Review! Still don't know if I'm going to do a sequel or just continue this story. I'll keep you posted!**


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N: This is the last chapter of the story! I'm sorry it's been so long since I've updated, life has been crazy! Enjoy and please review! **

Olivia slept restlessly in Brian's bed. She tossed and turned until she finally settled onto her back, the position she originally started in. She was relieved when Brian offered to sleep on the couch. She felt bad about him not being able to sleep in his own bed, but was glad he'd actually be able to sleep instead of dealing with her restlessness and crazy nightmares.

She was so tired. She had barely slept the last week and a half. She thought about bringing her sleeping pills with her to Brian's but she knew how much he hated when she took them. She also didn't want to become dependent on them. She knew sleeping would be difficult for her for quite some time.

Eventually her eyelids became too heavy for her to keep open and she feel asleep. What started as a blissful, restful sleep soon turned panicked and unhappy. She was moaning and whimpering while rocking her head back and forth. Her body tried so hard to wake her up, but her mind was still stuck in her nightmare.

_"Open wide, Baby. You're about to gifted the best thing you've ever tasted," Lewis snickered as he crawled up her body and positioned himself at her mouth._

_She could feel the bile rising in her throat. "I'll bite you," she said._

_"You bite me, bitch? I'll fucking kill you," he said stroking himself. _

_She looked at him with wide eyes. _I'll kill you_; those words completely shook her all the way to her core. Harris. She could hear the banging on the bars. Her mind was in the basement. She almost couldn't decide which place was worse, here or there. Her eyes immediately began to water as she recalled his face into the forefront of her mind. "How did I let this happen __**again**__?" she thought to herself, "I must deserve it." She started to sob._

_"There, there, Honey. It's okay," he said sweetly, wiping her tears away. Her face burned where he touched her. "This is going to be fun. We're having fun, right?"_

_"Please, don't do this," she begged, "I'll do anything else. Please."_

_He smiled wickedly at her. "Make sure to use your tongue," he said as he plunged into her mouth, suffocating her._

"No!" she screamed waking from her nightmare. She sat up immediately taking in the room around her. It took her a minute to remember where she was. "A nightmare within a nightmare," she thought taking a few deep breaths in hopes of calming herself down. Her heart was still beating rapidly and she knew she needed to relax. She took another minute to collect herself and her breathing finally began to slow down.

Realizing she was covered in sweat, she got up and made her way to the bathroom and splashed some cold water on her face. She took a few sips, dried off her face and hands, and made her way back to the bedroom.

She stripped off the t-shirt she sweat through and rummaged through Brian's drawers to find her favorite shirt of his. It was his blue button down nightshirt. He rarely ever wore it, mostly because she never gave him the chance to. Whenever she slept over, that was her nightwear of choice.

She smiled when she found it. She put it on quickly and brought the collar up to her nose. She sighed happily. "Smells just like my Baby," she thought to herself. She then thought about Brian sleeping uncomfortably on the couch. She walked out of the bedroom and down the little hall that lead out into the living room. She smiled when she saw him.

He was sleeping on his back with his left arm up and bent behind his head. He looked so peaceful. She gazed at him some more then made up her mind. She didn't really want to attempt to go back to sleep by herself. Even before her assault she always slept better when Brian was with her. Some nights she didn't sleep at all if he didn't stay over.

She slowly and quietly made her way over to the couch. She moved the blanket off of him a little bit and crawled up to him so her head was resting in the crook of his left shoulder where his arm was up. She covered them both with the blanket, rested her arm across his waist, and sighed contently.

He felt her move the blanket and rest against him. He woke up instantly but kept his eyes closed. He didn't want to startle her and scare her away. He figured she was out here with him because she couldn't sleep. He felt her sigh and he smiled a little to himself. After waiting a little while for her to get settled, he kissed her forehead. "Hey cuddle bug," he said wrapping his arms around her. She moved her head so it was in the middle of his chest. "What brings you out here?" he asked.

"Couldn't sleep," she mumbled.

"So if you can't sleep, neither can I, huh?" he chuckled. She didn't say anything and he knew he upset her. He gave her an extra squeeze. "I'm just teasing, Baby. What's wrong?" he asked as he began to rub her back.

"Nightmare," she said sniffling. He knew she was crying.

He ran his fingers through her hair. "It's okay, Liv. You're safe, no one's gonna hurt you," he said reassuringly.

"It was just so horrible," she cried. He wrapped his arms around her again and rotated them so they were on their sides. He made sure she was on the inside against the back of the couch in hopes it would make her feel safe.

He readjusted the blanket and helped wipe her tears away. "Tell me," he whispered.

She shook her head. "You won't want me anymore," her trembling lips whispered back.

"Hey," he said, "look at me."

She tried to compose herself for a second before she looked at him. His eyes were full with worry but also with love. She knew what he was going to say, but she still needed to hear it.

He pulled her closer to him and looked her dead in the eyes. "I will _always_ want you," he said, "You are the best thing that's ever happened to me. It's always been you, after all this time. Baby, you're stuck with me. The only way I'm ever leaving is if you throw me out."

She began to cry again, "I love you so much." She buried her face into his chest and he held her close.

Tears began to sting his eyes, "I love you, too."

She sniffled and looked at him again. "I just don't know if I can tell you," she said faintly.

"If you talk about it, it might help you. You'll start healing," he said encouragingly.

She thought about it for a minute. She knew he was right. She found it odd that Brian felt like he couldn't stay in SVU, he was doing a great job with her. She sighed heavily, "It-it," she took another deep breath, "felt so real. I felt like I was there in that bedroom with him again. He-he told me to open my mouth. I-I," she started to cry again.

Brian held her close and rubbed her back. "You're doing great, Liv. I'm right here. You're safe," he whispered in her ear.

"He wa-was gonna make me give him oral. There was nothing I could do, I was tied to the bed!" she continued to cry, "I-I told him th-that I would bite him if he did it an-and he said he'd kill me if I did."

She was crying so hard she was struggling to get the words out. "Easy, easy, Baby," Brian said, "Relax for a second. Just take a minute to breathe. Deep breaths." He loosened his grip on her giving her more breathing room.

After about a minute, she had calmed down enough to continue her story. "Those words, 'I'll kill you,' they-they scare the living hell out of me. Do you remember the story I told you about the Corrections Officer?" she asked.

"Yeah, when you went undercover?" he replied. His heart dropped when he realized where she was going with her question.

"Yeah. He said those same words to me when he assaulted me," she said. Her lips quivered again and the tears fell from her eyes. "When Lewis said those words to me in my nightmare, I had a flashback to Sealview. It was a nightmare in a nightmare," she cried.

He felt so bad for her. Here, the love of his life, the woman he'd marry tomorrow if he could, was lying in his arms sobbing. The person who helped so many people is now a victim herself and she feels helpless. Like she has no one to turn to. "She has me," he thought, "She'll always have me."

He held her tight as she cried. He was exhausted but he didn't care. He knew she was probably way more tired than him. He gently kissed her tears and whispered sweet nothings in her ear. She cried for a solid half hour and he just held her. Eventually she fell asleep and he rolled them so he was on his back again and she was cuddled into his chest. He knew it was her favorite way to snuggle. She liked to fall asleep to his heartbeat. After the shooting, she took comfort in the sound, she was so glad he was still alive. Now, he was glad she was still alive to listen to it. He knew it would never beat the same if she wasn't.

Before he dozed off with Olivia he took a minute to process everything. "Why her?" he thought to himself, "Why does my girl have to go through all of this bullshit? Why can't she just be happy?" Two men. Two assaults. Two separate occasions. It made him sick to his stomach to think about.

"I just don't get it," he thought as he watched her sleep, "She's perfect. _Absolutely perfect_. She's going to get through this. She's too strong not to."

He tightened his grip on her and he felt her cuddle deeper into him. "I'm going to protect you now," he whispered, "You're not going to hurt anymore. I'm never going to let _anything_ happen to you."

Brian wasn't one to make promises he couldn't keep, but he had no intentions of ever breaking this one.

**Hope you guys enjoyed this story! I had fun writing it. There will be a sequel. Keep an eye out for it. I think it'll be called something like, "Protect You." Not 100% sure, though.**

**Please Review!**


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